The submission for our October Poetry Challenge about fear from Debanjana Majumber is about how a girl realized that the fear about missing someone to love, wasn’t her greatest fear in life.
About the poem
“This poem is about a girl who had always believed that her greatest fear was of being left alone without having anybody to love her. She spent her entire life thinking that the person she gives her heart to will protect her from herself and lead her to a place of assured safety where she would never have to worry about being scared anymore. But when the love of her life leaves her, she is traumatized and is unable to comprehend the reality of her being left on her own. She breaks down in the worst possible way and soon realizes that the tragedy has turned her into something else-something that she can’t recognize anymore. She then realizes that the worst thing- her greatest fear isn’t of losing her lover, but being a stranger to herself and not knowing who she is anymore. Despite all, she takes time to heal, fights her demons and comes out victorious against her fears and grows back stronger and more self-aware than before.”
How fear and I finally met
All this time I had believed
That my greatest fear was
In having to watch him leave.
Until the day he walked out the door,
Turning our fountain of eternal love
Into a darkened pool of abhor.
I stood there-stranded, breaking, crippling.
My fears emerged and engulfed me
At once-blended, deepening, slithering.
When I looked at myself and analysed the mess,
I knew my greatest fear wasn’t losing him,
But myself in the process.
I spent months starving,
Love sucked out of my soul,
Every vacant place filled with hollow aching.
It took days.
It took months.
It took tears and blood to do the undone.
And when I finally stood back up on my feet,
I looked fear in the eye
And laughed at her imminent defeat.